A friend of mine recently had her second child. She shared with me her recent revelation - that life was never going to be as easy as it was when there was just one child. This is not what I want to hear. It scares me. Because days are already hard - enjoyable - but hard. I know that physical healing and sleep deprivation and hormonal imbalances all play in to what she's saying at this time....but I can't help it...it scares me.

I need to be reassured that when this new baby comes, that it is going to be ok...that once again I am going to be amazed at my heart's ability to miraculously expand enough to love another child as immeasurabely much as I love my other two.

I know it will suck in the beginning...it always does...no matter how many you have already. Not getting enough sleep, everything hurting, hot flashes, well-intentioned visitors at inopportune times....the whole thing is hard. But when the dust settles...I want to know that it is going to be great. I need to know that my girls are going to embrace this new baby and that we are going to be able to leave the house and function like normal people...eventually.

Tomorrow is our ultrasound. I'm praying the baby is healthy! Maybe we'll get a good shot to determine gender...but mostly - I'm praying the baby is healthy....and that when he or she arrives - that life ISN'T worse than before...but better.