Thursday, January 14, 2010

I need help! I know I am home all day (eating bon bons and watching soaps...getting pedicures and searching for things to do), but taking care of the kids and doing laundry are a full-time job! Too bad there are a million other chores to be done to keep our home barely presentable and semi-safe. Too bad there are a ton of things OUTSIDE of the home that have to be done each week too, like shopping for groceries, taking kids to/from school, returning library books, taking kids to/from school activities, etc.

I'm not complaining about being a stay-at-home Mom...I love my job. I feel VERY blessed to have this gift - to be able to be witness the crazy things my kids do each day, to be present for the teachable moments I wouldn't otherwise share with them. HOWEVER, I think it is VERY easy to lose yourself in the necessary tasks of taking care of others PLUS the household....and although I've tried for 5 years now, I am waving my white flag. Trying to do it all has only made me feel sad, mad, frustrated and like a complete failure. It is benefiting NO ONE. So....

I need help. I tried a family chore chart awhile back. Remember this?
It was met with much criticism and little to NO cooperation. My message (cry for help) was lost. Well, probably more likely ignored than lost.

Then I tried asking for help...actually verbalizing my need for help. Deaf ears. Maybe I'm not being assertive enough. Maybe I'm feeling too guilty because I don't "work" outside of the home. I don't know. All I know is that what I've been trying to do for five years is not working. At least it isn't working for me.

So here's my new idea. Although I don't eat bon bons or watch soaps...I do have a bit of a distraction called INTERNET...specifically GOOGLE READER!!! But I do gather a lot of useful information from these sites....many pertaining to bargain-hunting, couponing, home organization, sewing, meals/recipes...all "job-related" if you will. Anyway - I'm trying to better manage my time researching these things. Oops...there's guilt again...sorry...back to the idea. While reading one of my crafty blogs awhile back, I stumbled on

This is kind of fun, right? And maybe they'll buy in? Maybe they'll want to help because this is sort of like a fun game, right? Maybe I'll even put a prize in when the task is complete they get the prize found in the tin? I'm going to make it....and then PRAY it works better than the chore chart did.

Disclaimer....MAJOR disclaimer: My husband works VERY isn't like he comes home and then just sits on the couch and plays on the computer or watches TV. He is a great husband and father, a good provider for our family and loves us all very much. I'm sure he's more than happy to help - I just haven't found the right way to deliver this message. Same is true of my oldest daughter. She usually is very willing to help...I just have to spell it out. So here it goes...I'm S-P-E-L-L-I-N-G it out, family. Mom needs help...I'm drowning and I'm exhausted. I want to do better...BE better...but to do that I need to rally the troops. We can do this! (Lord, I hope I'm not in the doghouse for this post!)

If YOU have found a method that engages your family, please leave me a comment and tell me how you're doing it! Or if you think I should be able to do all of this on my own, tell me how YOU do it....and what medication does it involve? (cuz I'm gonna need me summa that!).

Love my husband, love my kids, love my home....just trying to do all of those things better.

--The Mom of 'Em

1 comment:

Amy said...

Jodi, my dear friend.... I feel and know your pain. If I could replace your name with my name, it would be my life. I have to come straight out and ask. No hoping, no hinting & no wishing. Just point blank! Dale can relax and watch tv while I am running around cleaning up toys, doing laundry and dishes. And he could then go to bed. But our home is my office and I cannot stand to wake up to THAT. Not that I haven't, but I dispose it! But if someone were to come over, he would be mortified the house was in THAT condition. Discaimer abot Dale is same about Mark :)

So what did you decide to do and did it work?!