Friday, April 25, 2008

Confessions of an old transvestite

Ok, so I"m not a transvestite...but if you looked at my feet, you might wonder. Before kids I wore a women's size 11. After kids, a 12 WIDE. (Hold the Sasquatch jokes, please). This is a horrible predicament for a woman. Shoe shopping has NEVER been an enjoyable experience for me. IF a store carries my size, they tend to be the most hideous looking shoes - ever. There's the whole men's shoe solution, but what woman wants to wear Men's shoes?

Last night around Midnight I completely and totally rammed my foot into the glider ottoman in the baby's room. My little toe was bent outward and upward in an awkward position and I was (am) in pain! Now, the toe is either broken or dislocated and footwear is not really an option at all right now. I know doctors can't really do anything for a broken toe except maybe tape it....but I think I'm going to go see a doctor because I"m afraid it will heal in this jetted outward position...thus making Amazon foot even WIDER and harder to fit. (sigh).

Life is so not fair. I want to wear cute strappy sandals with kitten heels, but noooooo...I have to wear shoes that my husband slips on to get the mail. NOT RIGHT! So off I go this morning to the doctor - where I"ll hang my head low, embarrassed of my large and now swollen foot....hoping they believe I'm a woman and not a transvestite. Actually, it would be nice to know a fashionable transvestite...because the first thing I'd ask is where do you buy your cute shoes??

3 comments:

Andrea said...

I stubbed my little toe shortly after Court was born (how could I not get hurt with all those baby toys and bouncy seats all over the house). I was still seeing a chiropractor from being preggo, so I had him adjust my toe!! I think that really helped it heal faster. That is one option for you...

kmb said...

Ouch. You are probably a little overdramatic about the transvestite comments but there is a store in the suburb where I hang out ALL the time and am moving to in AUGUST (not soon enough) called Transformations. If I get enough courage and some friends I can go check out the shoe situation for you.

Faerie Mom said...

LOL. I have broken my baby toes more times than I can count. i never go to the doc. But mine never really jutted out at weird angles too much...

My DD has size 11 feet and she is 14. I symathize with you. Shoe shopping with her is hell.